The Joy of Grace

In response Jul 06

Here is my response to a gift given to me this day.

 On Friday, we were with some friends at their parents' home enjoying the holiday.  I remember a little less than 2 years ago we were at the same home, doing similar activities.  Playing. Eating. Swimming. Enjoying the day.  On Friday, it was a bit different for us because we had two little ones to which to tend.  Although I enjoyed the company, I admit that I didn't really get to enjoy the activities this time around. It kinda put me in a bad mood.  Last night, after taking a bubble bath (yes, I take baths even during the summer) I was looking so forward to hitting the bed for my first round of sleep before Aubrey woke up to eat.  It was earlier than I usually get to bed which thrilled me to the uttermost.  Then, I knocked over a bottle of finger nail polish, shattering it into little pieces, the polish decorating the bathroom floor and the door.  I spent about 45 minutes scrubbing it (to no avail).  That put me in a really bad mood.  This afternoon, I wanted to sleep.  And I did take a nice 2 hour nap.  Just as Aaron was about to head out to cut the grass, I heard Savannah waking up from her nap.  But I wanted to sleep at least 30 minutes more.  Ugh!  This too put me in a foul mood.  

I write all that to share that I am selfish, as if you could not figure that out already.  Humans are selfish.  I am chief of selfishness.  You can only begin to imagine how becoming a mom has rocked my selfish world.  Becoming a wife began to do it.  Becoming a mom has really done it  and I'm quite sure that I've barely scratched the surface to my understanding of this.

I was wonderously reminded today that I have a Saviour in Whom all selflessness abides.  I was reminded today through the Word preached at church that there is fullness in His glorious resurrection which leaves no room for discontentment on my part.  Resurrection being the power of Christ.  Discontentment being what my selfishness really is.  I was reminded today that I can surrender.  I have the blessed duty to deny myself.  To deny myself when I just don't want to get up and feed Aubrey at 2 a.m.  To deny myself when Savannah is not being the way I want her to be.  To deny myself and in doing so, take up the cross and follow Thee, freeing me to be the mother which the Lord has called me to be.  I was reminded today that by day or by night (even the middle of it), He can be my best thought and  waking or sleeping, His presence is my Light!

What a gift my Saviour has given me this day.